Peter Solis Nery
Page Hits 116,993


Dear Zach—Did you realize, at all, how insanely I fell in love with you? I fell hard, really hard; head over heels. And I suffered for it—bumps, aches, longing, torment, tears, ripped heart, and bruises. But it’s not your fault. I told you, it’s not even your business. If I love you, it is all my concern and responsibility; you didn’t even have to know. I can say that this is all my fault, but it is hard for me to see my feelings for you as a defect or imperfection, or an aberration. Being in love with you made me so happy, so alive, so human, so warm inside, when everything around me was really my first winter—bitter, cold, icy, and dreary. You filled an emptiness in me, a dark hole that was abysmal and profound after my husband’s sudden death. I wasn’t ready to be a widower at 46. I loved him, don’t get me wrong, but I have so much more love to give. I didn’t want to die with him. I didn’t want my love, and laughter, and lust for life, to be buried with him. I’m a certified romance junkie, everybody knows that; I am a tried and tested, fully verified, quality inspected, heart person, one whose heart falls in love like a train.

But who’s to judge me? I like my life train’s journey, and I truly believe that I have lived more interestingly, if not happier, than most people that I know. I am the...